16 April, 2008

tootin'

i have a million things to tell ya'll and now that i sit here...i can't think of one.

so the "Internet cafe" that i blog from has been running really slow lately and some days they are just not open so that's why the blogs have been few and far...

yesterday i worked on an ad-film (commercail) for a cable channel here in Mumbai called "Ferangi" which is a fancy word for "honkey". they play all western shows and movies dubbed in Hindi. i played Sherlock Holmes, not to toot my own horn, but i looked good when i watched they play back. speaking of horn tooting....the best part of the day was i got to hang out with all the "permanent western crew of actors"...i like them all...they always have fun stories, teach me how to get more money for work and have been here for years and years, so they give me hope or maybe show me that living here can work out. they are fun fun guys.

anyway there was this one guy, i had never met before, and he kept saying "not to toot my own horn" and then would talk about himself for like four hours straight...it was funny and sort of sad. he has written a book based in India, i was really interested in hearing how he did that (got it published) because i may have...possibly...sort of ...started writing something...that may be nothing...or something. i, of course, have already written my acceptance speech for when i win the noble prize for literature!

oh and one time horn tooter was telling some story, about himself, and his shirt was sort of hanging open and his nipple was sticking out. i kept thinking, how do i ask him to put away his nipple (cause it's making me gag)...i couldn't find a classy way.

last week i auditioned for the singing cowboy, which i didn't get. i got another part in the same ad-film playing a mad scientist(i think). i didn't really understand the premise but being the amazing actor that i am i pulled it off! there was nothing special about the shoot except that i made bank.

i heard this song on the radio and it really stuck in me head so i just googled it to find out more and it is actually by this guy i knew when i lived in Atlanta. we were kinda friends. "king of my castle" by the wamdue project. (video below)

i went for an audition today and when i got there they had me fill out a questionnaire that was mainly about what "blood group" i belong too. i said "will i be bleeding on set", they, in a confused manner, said "no". they described the part as "a guy nobody likes, a real mean guy"...i thought great, I've been type casted yet again! so the audition, after the blood group questionnaire consisted of them taking my photo and nothing else...the crazy part is that to get the audition, i had to send them my photos and it just so happened that today, i was wearing the same green shirt that i have have on in the photos i had e-mailed them. oh India!!!

as probably none of you, except my mother, know one of my favorite things in the world is reading the "brides" section of the Sunday paper. i love seeing what jobs people have and what loser honeymoons people go on: an example...a couple from Philadelphia will honeymoon in Wildwood at the Jersey shore (which is a redneck trailer park beach an hour from Philly)...in India there is no brides section but they do have a "matrimonial" section. this is where you post when seeking a bride or husband for your son or daughter....and its good...the guys are all looking for slim tall fair homely girls (homely meaning domestic, not ugly). the women are all looking for h'some tall MBA'S with Visa's to the USA. i decided to create my own profile in the style of these ad's...here is part of it:

they all start "SM 4" which means "seeking match for"

SM 4 h'someish, extremely fair guy 31/8/69 8:35am 38/172. USA educated semi-established in mumbai (goregaon east). family of high repute...

i end with "religion/caste no bar, no dowry req."

to explain...the ads all have the date and time of birth so the horoscopes can be matched... "38/172", i am 38 and 172cm tall...saying your "foreign educated" is a big plus...i loved saying EXTREMELY fair...family being of "high repute" seems to be a big deal....and all the desperate people end with "caste no bar" which means that even people poorer or below them in social status can apply...

so i have i mentioned i have a lot of free time....

king of my castle...

1 comment:

Wil said...

Ooooh, I love that song. I put it on my last mix CD. :)

Those ads crack me up. Those people are OBSESSED with the whole getting "hitched" thing. LOL

As for the exposed nipple guy, you should have just kept simulating closing your shirt...he might have gotten the message and covered up his nip. hehehe.