18 January, 2008


hello gang i am back...and it feels great!!

i went down south to Karele for a film shoot...it was sort of a nightmare and yet really fun as well...here be the details....

i got called at 12:30 last Tuesday to say i had to be on a bus in half an hour...i ran home threw some stuff in a bag and was off to meet the group from mumbai that i would be going down with...there were six of us...a collection of total freaks...

freak one: amit...he is Indian but gets jobs as a foreigner cause his dad is white and he is 6'5" which is giant compared to Indian men...he thinks he is the coolest thing living and lives just on the fence between totally annoying and funny...he is really cheap, after paying a bill at a restaurant if there is money left after everyone collectively pays he's the guy that pockets the change.

freak two: joson...he is an albino from south Africa...he mumbles and i can't understand anything he says...except one time he got mad and said "i am not a boy, i am a man" he sounded like a line from some nelson Madella documentary...he traveled really lite...he brought nothing..no toothbrush, no change of under ware, no nothing...we shared a room and he used my razor and then asked where the toothbrush was...i said " there is no the toothbrush it's my toothbrush"...he bought one of his own two days later.

freak three: john...again Indian guy that gets jobs as a foreigner...john is my friend and always gets me work, he speaks really good English, he was the one that got this shoot put together...he was the only one in the group i liked...unfortunately our friendship won't ever be the same after this trip...read on for that...

freak four: Alex...he's Russian...i don't meet many Russians that i like...they seem to have unresolved issues with Americans...anyway Alex once hit my friend Amaan so i really don't like him...two hours into the trip i told him if he ever touched Amaan again i would kill him...TRAVEL NOTE if are ever going to spend a week with a Russian don't tell them the first day you are going to kill them.

freak five: Craig....well, you all know what an ass he can be!

freak six: rick...rick is half Indian, half Australian. i don't believe the Australian bit at all...rick has vigilito (the Micheal Jackson disease). i think he makes up the Australian bit to cover up the fact that he's just an Indian with a skin disease...once this Australian guy was asking rick about Australia, rick couldn't answer. the guy was like are you sure you've been there??? but then again rick is stupid so maybe he has and is just too stupid to remember anything....rick likes to try and act like he is really worldly and smart but it takes two seconds to figure out he's just stupid. his voice sounds like a girl.

so there we were six freaks from the big city on a bus heading south...the bus took 26 hours...yes 26, then we had to get a train that was another three hours...we found our hotel, showered, then went for beers...that night just as we were about to sleep they switched out hotel we had to sneak out of the hotel and run to another.

Karele is the name of the region, the town we were in was called theiterry...a sleepy little town where all the restaurants close at 10:00, if you are hungry after ten, no food for you. the southern coast is really tropical, beautiful, and full of amazing beaches...it reminded me of Sri Lanka...and it was hot, really hot...i know you folks in the north east of America won't want to hear this, but, i went to the beach quit a bit this past week and i have a hard core tan right now. anyway the town is off the beaten track and they don't get many tourist there and they went crazy over us...it felt like we were celebrities...every time we went in a shop people would say are you the actors from Mumbai....the whole town was talking. speaking of talking the local language is Malayalam and to hear it is hilarious i kept thinking this has got to be a joke this can't be a real language...i wish i could do my imitation of it for you..anyway it's funny!

the next day we went to the shoot...it is a period war drama set in the 1920's staring Mamoty. He's the most famous Malayalam (southern) actor there is...he is fat, has stringy hair and people down there worship him...he was nice to us but i didn't see the attraction to him...

anyway the first morning of the shoot as we were waiting for our costumes two buses full of 60 Iranians pull up, they are to be our troops. let me tell you, there is nothing like 60 Iranians to make you feel totally and completely American!

there is a city in India called pune (pronounced pun-A), it is famous for three things
1. it is where the sex cult Osha (www.oshoworld.com)is. people are stupid freaks!!
2. it is where the bradgalina film "a mighty heart" was shot.
3. it has over 15,000 Iranians enrolled in universities there.

so here we were six freaks, one of which is American and sixty Iranians...and the hilarity ensues...but that will have to wait until tomorrow...

i need to get my hair cut, cuase i need to look sharp for tonight i am going to see Joyce Meyers, a religious nut from American that i kinda love (www.joycemeyer.org) it should be funny..anyway the rest of my trip...tomorrow!


Wil said...

I've never seen you with a tan... Hot! :)

You also need to finish your stroy about "john" and why you can't be friends no more. Just keeping you on track. ;)

glinke said...

I've never seen you with or without a tan, but i'd agree with wil.

Please, tell us about "john".

Oliver said...

it's spelled vertiligo, i think!!! ;)

glinke said...

for your trivial pursuit moments:
in italian is "vitiligine".